May 2024 Newsletter

Welcome to May’s edition of Philosopher's Tone! I'm your host, Professor Rebus, and I'm delighted to have you aboard the Pitcherwits™ Express. What can you expect? A monthly dose of bonus puzzles, wisdom and snippets about the English language! I hope you enjoy this month's publication.

A quick reminder that the puzzle PDF downloads are now fillable, meaning you can fill them out on your computer instead of having to print them. Before you try to fill them in, save the file to your desktop first instead of opening the file in your internet browser, otherwise they won't work properly.

Onwards!

  • OK, so you want to be delivered from temptation: but would you like it to keep in touch?

  • Progress blocker? – “It’s always been done that way.”

  • Your body is ageing, but that doesn’t mean that your spirit has to.

  • How much energy we’ve wasted over the years by worrying about the ‘What if’s’ that never happened.

  • Good to learn from your mistakes. Even better to learn from other people’s.

  • “If more of us valued food and cheer and song, above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” J R R Tolkien

  1. Looper: (a) manipulator (b) caterpillar (c) faster athlete

  2. Mythomaniac (a) pathological liar (b) mythology obsessive (c) fantasist

  3. Darnel (a) embroidery tool (b) harmless infection (c) weed

  4. Capriole (a) horse jump (b) stringed instrument (c) hedonist

  5. Repetend (a) imitate mockingly (b) burp (c) recurring word

From the initials and the clue, what’s the phrase?

  1. A.B.I.T.H. What you have is better than twice what you might get.

  2. N.T.F. Standard work pattern.

  3. T.T.C.I.A.D. The point at which you stop.

  4. T-F./S. All day and every day.

  5. T.M.T.D.W. Co-operation is the key to a successful vision.

What are the rhyming phrases suggested by these clues?

  1. W.S. Completely without speed

  2. L.B. Allowing to gamble

  3. H.C. Convenient sweets

  4. J.C. Cheerful sort of dog

  5. L.B. Sizeable yet narrow boat

Chuckle Lines

  • ‘A woman went to the bank to cash a cheque. The cashier said, ‘Can you identify yourself?’ She took a mirror out of her handbag, looked into it and said, ‘Yes, it’s me.’  Tommy Cooper

  • ‘I think animal testing is a terrible thing. They get all nervous and give silly answers.’ Stephen Fry

  • ‘Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.’ Terry Pratchett

  • ‘I knew an old lady who had never seen the sea, so I took her there. She stared at it for a while and then said, ‘Is that all it does?’   Michael Howard

  • ‘I’m a dancer trapped in the body of a tree.’ Ardal O’Hanlon

  • ‘People say I wasted my money. I say 90% of it went on women, fast cars and booze. The rest I wasted.’ George Best

  • ‘My bank manager went for a heart transplant, but they couldn’t find a stone the right size.’ Dave Allen

 

Signing off until next time...

Professor Rebus

Solve clues with us on Instagram at @pitcherwits

Answers:

What’s the meaning?
1. b
2. a
3. c
4. a
5. c

What’s that phrase?
1. A bird in the hand
2. Nine to five
3. Time to call it a day
4. 24/7
5. Teamwork makes the dream work

Rhyme time
1. Wholly Slowly
2. Letting Betting
3. Handy Candy
4. Jolly Collie
5. Large Barge 

Professor Rebus